Are You Stifling a NO and Then Eating it Later?
With all the resolution stuff swirling around, I wanted to share an important word that will help keep you on track. The word is…“NO,” and I’m pretty sure you’re not saying it enough. I see this with my clients all the time, and even find myself stifling a “no” that needs to be said.
For example, when you are asked to volunteer for something you don’t really want to do, you stifle the “no” and say “yes.” When you do this, you are untrue to yourself and become out of balance. This quite often leads people to overeat in an attempt to feel better.
When I was in my 20’s I would say “yes” when I really meant “no.” I ignored the signals of my body and I was totally unaware of the consequences. It was more comfortable to say “yes” in the moment, but then I paid for the discomfort afterwards. Because I was going against my own intuition and feeling, I then craved food. It was how my body tried to get my balance back, and this grabbed my attention because I was obsessed with my weight back then.
Someone pointed out this vicious cycle to me, and explained that my cravings were related to my inability to say “no.” This was surprising to me. I thought it was about saying “no” to food, but it wasn’t. It was about saying “no” to people and situations that weren’t right for me. When I became aware of this, I was able to catch myself, say no when I meant it, and find myself not craving.
Saying no in certain situations may cause you to fear missing out on something. That’s okay. Acknowledge the fear and make a decision based on how your body feels. Does it feel open or contracted when you ponder the invitation?
It’s easy to get pulled into saying “yes” to fun things, to help others, or to do things out of obligation. But, when we say “yes” to something, it requires us to say “no” to something else. We have limited time and resources. We can’t do everything, even though it’s tempting!
So, yes, have fun, say “yes,” but be discerning in what you say “yes” to and be careful about spreading yourself thin. When you spread yourself thin, you’ll make up for it in other ways. If it’s not with food, it will be with some other behavior.
My suggestion for you this next week, is to say “no” more often than you say “yes,” unless you’re really clear and you feel a “yes.” When someone asks you for something, and you don’t have a big “yes” inside, you can say something like:
“Thank you for asking, let me get back to you on that!”
Then take your time, and make a decision while listening to your body and how it feels, and then get back to them with an answer.
Experiment with it and see if it positively impacts other areas of your life. And if you say “yes” and then regret the “yes,” just take it as a learning experience. After all, we learn more from mistakes than doing things perfectly, right?
All the best,