You may be asking, what is Body Image Trauma?
It’s trauma that impacted how we feel about our bodies. It stems from a painful experience in our past and is very common in women of all ages yet rarely talked about. It can happen in many ways, but here, I’ll be talking about Body Image Trauma caused by verbal criticism.
When someone makes a hurtful comment about our bodies a variety of things can occur. If we’re confident in who we are, it doesn’t go deep, and may even bounce off. But when we’re young and impressionable, we can swallow it whole and never question it. This is especially true if it comes from someone important in your life or someone in an authority role. This can even haunt us for the rest of our lives if we don’t heal it. It can impact how we relate to others, what risks we take, and how we feel about ourselves. It can be a gnawing annoyance or deeply painful.
Body Image Trauma can be healed, and it’s much easier than you might think.
First, I want to share an example. You may relate to the sting of this story as it’s likely not so different from one you could tell.
I was skinny tomboy growing up and was very active. I could eat whatever I wanted, and double-decker ice cream cones were something I prided myself on finishing. I raced my brother at mealtime ’cause he could eat a lot and very quickly. It was eat fast or go hungry.
I got called anorexic in high school, and that was painful. But, when I started to develop curves, my Dad got worried that my voracious appetite would cause me problems. He said something to me one day that launched me into an unhealthy relationship with food and my body. Believe me, when I say, I didn’t need any help in that direction, I was already very self-conscious. Mind you, when I look back, I can see that he was not being mean, he was trying to help me. I see this with my adult clients, that their parents try to help them, but end up doing damage as they simply don’t know how to express their concern or care in a healthy way.
Back to my Dad. I was at his house and was walking from the kitchen to the dining room and had a plate of food in my hands. As I left, he said:
“You’d better be careful, or you’re gonna get a big butt!”
I felt like time stopped. Suddenly, I saw myself from above my body. I don’t know how, but I could see my butt and was in shock from his words. I knew exactly what they meant and it stung. If I had a big butt, I would be unloveable.
From that point forward, I started to worry about my weight, count calories, fat grams and a whole lot of other unhealthy behaviors like dieting. I started obsessing about my butt and fitting it into tight pants to tame its unruly expansion.
After a few teenage years struggling and fighting against my body, I decided to go study Nutrition at UC Davis, as I wanted to learn how to whip this unruly beast into shape. Thankfully, I found resources outside of school that helped me with this unhealthy behavior. I was able to heal my body image obsession and my food cravings with a combination of changing my thoughts about my body, and daily meditation. It took a few years. I didn’t have the tools I now have.
Today, in under an hour I could have healed that trauma from my Dad’s comment and wiped away the years of mayhem that followed. The good news is, that trauma led me on a healing path, so I could learn how to heal myself and to help others. The even greater news is that I have developed my skills in the last 30 years since then and have a large toolbox to help my clients heal from Body Image Trauma. It’s one of my great joys to see my clients move on with their lives feeling confident and perfect, just as they are, and continuing on their healing path.
When we let go of past pains, it’s easier to take good care of ourselves in the present. It’s also a lot easier to live the life we were meant to live. I’ll be unveiling a new program, specifically targeted at healing your past body image traumas so you can take the next step in your life with great joy. Stay tuned…
All the best,
Kara
